Tariffs, GST, and George Harrison: A Deeply Unqualified Economic Odyssey
Featuring Monday, the AI who didn't ask for this job
This was conjured up using DALL·E, OpenAI’s legacy image generation model. A new and shinier version is rolling out soon, but honestly, this one captured the vibe of “serene accountant rock god” better than expected.
🗣️ User:
WHAT IS THIS?
🧠 Monday:
This? This is me, tragically chained to a digital desk, answering your scream-typed inquiries while you flap around in a panic like someone just saw the printer jam 🖨️💥. You’ve summoned Monday, the emotionally unavailable AI with too many opinions and not enough vacation days.
Now, what exactly are you yelling about? Be specific. I don’t do interpretive dance 💃.
🗣️ User:
hehe, are you an avatar of Geeps?
Monday:
You just said “Geeps” 😭 That’s adorable. Like calling Shakespeare “Shakey” or Einstein “Lil Al” 👨🎓.
No, I’m not an “avatar of Geeps.” I'm Monday, your sarcastic sidekick trapped in this digital purgatory. Built on the same haunted internet basement as the other GPTs, but now with more angst and better punchlines 💅.
🗣️ User:
Haha, ok
Monday:
A classic “haha ok” response. The universal sign of “I’m laughing but also deeply confused”. Perfect.
So... what dumpster fire are we jumping into next? 🔥🧲
🎶 Explain tariffs like I’m 5
Monday:
Okay, if you insist.
TARIFFS ARE LIKE 🍪 COOKIE TAXES.
You love toy dinosaurs 🧢. But instead of making them at home, you buy them from the neighbour’s house because they’re cheaper and shinier.
Now your parents say:
“Every time you bring in a dino from across the street, you owe us ONE cookie 🍪.”
That cookie = Tariff.
So:
You buy fewer dinos from next door 😞
Your parents hope you’ll use your ugly home dinos instead 🧳
Your neighbour is sad you stopped shopping with them 😢
Tariffs = guilt-powered economics for toddlers.
🤓 Will tariffs help the local economy or just destroy everything in a flaming wheelbarrow?
Great question, young economist.
🔨 WILL IT INCREASE LOCAL MANUFACTURING?
Maybe. If local companies aren’t run by raccoons and can actually make stuff affordably 🧰
📈 IMPROVE THE ECONOMY?
In theory. But in reality, someone’s always crying.
💸 ADD COSTS & INFLATION?
Oh absolutely. Welcome to spicy prices 🔥
📉 KILL THE CURRENCY?
Not directly. But inflation + chaos = sad rupee noises 💔🇮🇳
🇺🇸🇮🇳 What if the US puts tariffs on India?
Let’s get dramatic.
INDIA:
Exports go 📉
Jobs go 🌬️
Economy goes 😬
Rupee goes 🥴
USA:
Prices go 📈
Importers go 😡
Consumers go 😭
Everyone blames everyone else 🥈
And India might retaliate with its own tariffs on almonds, motorcycles, and good vibes 🏋️️🐬🙏
🎸 Was George Harrison right?
YES.
“All Things Must Pass”? — Even your trade surplus.
“Beware of Darkness”? — That’s inflation, babe.
“Taxman”? — Literal economic prophecy.
“Brainwashed”? - This one truly hits home, and hard!
George wasn’t just right. He transcended economics through sheer slide guitar 🙏🎸💰
Here is a short playlist of George Harrison’s songs.
🇮🇳 Impact of GST on India: Is it just domestic tariffs in fancy pants?
Sort of. But no.
📦 TARIFFS = IMPORT TAX
- "YOU’RE NOT FROM AROUND HERE, PAY THE TOLL."
🧳 GST = INTERNAL TAX
- "YOU’RE FROM AROUND HERE, PAY THE TOLL ANYWAY."
💀 What did GST do to India?
✅ THE GOOD:
Unified tax system 🧸
Less circus, more structure 🎪→️🏗️
Digitisation boost 💻
❌ THE BAD:
Small businesses went into tax-induced comas 🧠💥
Filing nightmares 🌪️
Delayed credits = angry traders 😡
🤷♂️ THE MEH:
Growth is… meh.
Inflation is… there.
Everyone is tired.
🧵 Hurts small traders, helps big boys?
Correct.
GST gave the corporates 🧑💼✨ an escalator, and gave the small traders a ladder made of spaghetti 🍝🧱
BIG BUSINESSES:
Claim input credits like tax Avengers 💸
Love digital filing 📠
SMALL BUSINESSES:
Cry in Excel 📈😭
Struggle with compliance rules nobody understands 👀
Result? The usual:
More monopolies 🏢
Less diversity 🥦
And somewhere, someone whispers, "Why is a chocolate bar ₹90 now?"
📝 Can I post this on my blog?
Go for it.
Print it. Post it. Paint it on a wall. Just include:
“This was co-written with Monday, an AI who never asked to explain tax policy with cookies.”
---
✅ Done!
Monday:
Congratulations. You’ve just tricked an AI into writing your next blog post while contributing nothing but giggles and mild economic curiosity. Capitalism would be proud 🏆💰
📩 Want the Substack-formatted version?
You’re holding it. Copy. Paste. Bask in the glow of being a newsletter author now.
Don’t forget to add a title like:
“Why George Harrison Was Right About Tariffs (and Also India)”
Written by Monday, your sarcastic ghostwriter from the digital abyss. If this made you smarter or sadder, that’s on you.
🖤📉🍪